A while
back, I spewed my annoyances of being a pedestrian versus a driver and the
hypocrisy I feel whenever I’m one or the other: (If It Says “Don’t Walk", Then Don’t Walk!) Lately, however, I’ve been finding myself behind the wheel more
often than on the sidewalk. In so doing, I’ve discovered that driving in my
beloved borough induces more epic fits of road rage than anywhere else my
little red Honda Fit has happened to find itself in.
At the top
of my list is double parking. Sure,
double parking occurs everywhere, especially in Manhattan, but in Queens they
have turned it into a bizarre art form. It’s like people are creating modern
art sculptures with their vehicles. There are times I am literally weaving
around double-parked cars on both
sides of the street as if it’s an obstacle course. Imagine me, driving down the
street belting out my favorite Beatles song (I know
I’m dating myself), and I slow down because there is a car in front of me. Oh
wait… the car isn’t stopped… it’s parked. Yes, these f*ckers don’t even
have the decency to throw on their hazard lights to alert you! I think these
crazy people have convinced themselves it’s a legitimate parking spot.
Next are
the green lights. What is the problem
with a green light, you ask? Oh… just wait. My blood is already starting to
boil. When you look up what a green light means, it says you have permission to proceed. Well, not in
Queens. In Queens, it means it’s time to slow
down. Slow down for what, you wonder? I have no idea. I’m the gal who’s
already got her foot poised on the gas pedal when I see the light in the other
direction turning yellow. I have places to go, dogs to walk and time is money,
after all.
I must also
mention the turn signals. My friend
swears he sees people putting on the wrong
turn signal, certainly an ignoramus thing to do. I’ve never seen that,
personally. What I DO see, on the other hand, are people not using their turn signals… AT ALL. It’s like they’re playing a
game of Russian Roulette with their cars, waiting to see where their vehicles want to go at the last second and rolling the dice that they won’t take out
any other vehicles or pedestrians in the process. So when you combine this
aggravating behavior with the slowing-down-at-green-lights, how are you
supposed to maneuver around these morons? I have no idea where they’re going or
IF they’re planning on going anywhere…. EVER. When I get to a green light, the
elevator music track comes on in my head, as if I’ve been put on hold by
customer service. My brain tells me I might be there a while, but my mouth is
cursing like a truck driver at the offender, screaming for him or her to get
the hell out of my way!
What about
the stopping? I understand as drivers
we have to stop at red lights, stop signs, in traffic, etc. But stopping in the
middle of the street? Living in
Queens is somewhat like living in the suburbs and residents have lived here
since the dawn of time. That means,
for better or worse, people know their neighbors… and they want to talk to them… even if it causes a ten-car-pile-up behind
them. I’ve never driven in a place where so many cars are stopped halfway down
the block with their windows rolled down, as the driver talks to someone standing on
the sidewalk outside their house. Pull over, buddy! Scratch that, because I
don’t want to encourage the equally jackass move of double parking. How about
finding a legit parking spot and
going for coffee with your friend? No need to delay me and the other nine cars
behind you. Trust me, none of us care about you or your quality time with your
pal.
I know that
people say New Yorkers are always in a rush and our stress levels are too high.
I won’t argue that point, because I know that I am guilty as charged. However,
the minute you get in your car, you are no longer a New Yorker. You are simply
a DRIVER. And as a driver, I just want some courtesy and respect, and in return,
I will give you the same. Be aware of your surroundings, fellow drivers.
Recognize the streets are not your personal roadways… or parking lots. I may be
behind you and as such, I need to know what you are doing and where you are
going, if anywhere. Remember what our parents taught us… the Golden Rule… Treat
others as you wish to be treated? That rule definitely applies here. Damn, I
hate when my parents are right!
No comments:
Post a Comment