I
know that is a harsh beginning, but as New Yorkers, haven’t we all had that
moment? That moment where you see someone on a park bench and you have no idea
if he/she is alive or dead. Let’s face it… in NYC anything is possible. The person might be in a drunken stupor and
passed out. Or he/she might have had a massive heart attack and is unconscious.
Or the person may be a sociopath, who is slumped over from his/her latest
heroine fix. The problem is, you never know which scenario is the right one.
The drunken stupor person probably wants to sleep it off and would prefer you
do not bother him/her. The heart attack victim, on the other hand, needs you to
do emergency life-saving CPR. Meanwhile, the sociopath drug addict will
probably stab you in the eye if you try to help.
Well, the
other day I was at work and found myself staring out the window at a man
slumped over on a bench. I called over my coworker and we started watching his
movements, or lack thereof. After about thirty seconds, we could see he was
breathing and thus fit into the “passed out” category – whether it was from
booze or something else altogether. He probably didn’t want to be bothered by
me or anyone else, yet I kept thinking, “Why isn’t anyone doing anything? Why
is everyone walking past him as if he’s not even there?” I myself didn’t budge.
There was still that small part of me that thought if I tried to wake him, he
might punch me in the face.
I am in no
way saying New Yorkers don’t help others. I remember a time when I was about to
step onto the subway and there was a big gap between the platform and the train
car. I lost my balance and my leg went right into the gap. If someone hadn’t
grabbed me and lifted me up, I don’t even want to think about what could’ve
happened. And it goes both ways. I once stood in the rain at midnight for an
hour waiting to give a statement to the police about a car accident I witnessed.
I think most of us want to help others. We just don’t want to be killed in the process by the
person we’re supposed to be helping!
It actually
calls to mind when my mom was taking a walk in her neighborhood a few years ago.
She lives in a very quiet town in suburban, New Jersey. During the walk, she
didn’t notice the pavement was pulled up from the ground by the roots of a
tree. Her foot caught in the sidewalk, and down she went. She hit her head and
was bleeding. As my mom lay stunned on the sidewalk, she remembers seeing
someone across the street, working on his car. He saw her too… and did NOTHING.
He did not cross the street to check on her, nor did he call out to her to ask
if she was all right. Cars drove by as well. Not one person stopped to help
her.
The broken sidewalk was outside a
greenery, so my mom went inside to speak to a manager. The salesperson said “no
one was around” (yeah right) and once again, my mom was disregarded, despite
the fact she was bleeding profusely from her head by this point. No offers to
call anyone for my mom came either. Finally, she permitted my mom the use of
the greenery’s bathroom to “clean herself up.”
Gee, thanks. I think the salesperson only did it because she didn’t want
my mom bleeding all over the floor. My mom ultimately walked home a mile by
herself, dazed and in shock.
My mom is five feet tall and weighs
90 pounds. She’s no threat to anyone. I
know I’m biased, but she is one of the sweetest and kindest people I know. Why
didn’t anyone that day treat her with the same kindness she so willingly gives to
others? My mom’s experience is a clear-cut case of a big fail in terms of helping our fellow man—or woman. I know it’s all
subjective, but a better line needs to be drawn between helping people in need
and just walking by and pretending you didn’t see them.
Which leads me back to the sleeping
man on the bench outside my workplace. I’d like to apologize to him for not
checking if he was okay. Sir, I hope you
were simply taking an impromptu nap and woke up refreshed, and proceeded to go
about the rest of your day. I will
always feel bad that I stood by and did nothing. Clearly I still need to figure
out my own lines too.
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