Thursday, September 21, 2017

When Being Sick Just Makes You Want To Vomit


            I’m serious. I’m officially fed up. I started coughing on the very last day of my European adventure. That was THREE weeks ago. Yet here I am, still coughing EVERY day and feeling that tickle in my chest that just won’t go away. To top it off, I woke up this morning with a case of the sniffles. Maybe those are just allergies, but at this point who the hell knows? Am I just breaking down? I always looked at myself as the Energizer Bunny—I just keep “going and going and going”—but lately I’ve been wondering if it’s more a case of “going, going, GONE”?

            Okay, I jest! I don’t think I’m really GONE… but I am certainly sick and tired of being sick! Someone joked if I’m still coughing in a couple of weeks he would decapitate me and there was a brief moment I considered doing it myself. Coughing is so different than other types of ailments. It can hurt your chest, your throat and heck, my mom has even cracked her ribs from it. I’ve gotten severe headaches as well as nausea from all the coughing I’ve been doing. And to make matters worse, my voice has been in and out (and more OUT these days), which isn’t exactly conducive to pursuing an acting career.

            It’s also the strange effect coughing has on everyone around you. It’s something audible and sometimes it’s VERY audible. Even when someone sneezes, these days we can chalk it up to allergies. We don’t necessarily think the person has come down with the bubonic plague. But the minute you start coughing, it’s this jarring noise that has everyone staring at you as if they want to call a priest to have him administer the last rites (or in my case, a rabbi). It’s embarrassing. I’ve gotten dirty looks on the subway, had people ask me if I’ve been to a doctor (Answer: Yes—twice—and my Chest X-Ray was clear), and had several people ask me, “Are you sure you should be out with that cough?” (FYI, that’s subtext for “Are you sure you should be HERE possibly infecting ME?”) And truth be told, I’ve had moments where I’ve considered not going places. I mean, who wants to hear me hack up a lung in the middle of the performance of a play? I know I don’t.

            And it’s all the advice you get from people—solicited and (more often) UNsolicited. People telling me what herbs and vitamins I should be taking, how much sleep I need or fluids I should drink, doctors I should go to… you name it. And half of the things they’ve mentioned I have already tried or am currently doing. And while I do believe their advice comes from a mostly sympathetic place, I also know a part of it is motivated from a place of : “Please get rid of this already so you don’t infect me with your toxic disease!” I hear ya, people. I’d like to be over it too. No one wants to feel like the leper in the room.


            I don’t remember the last time I was ever sick for this long. It’s debilitating, depressing and frustrating as hell.  And yes, I know I need to take a breath and realize there are much bigger things going on in this world—especially at this very moment. When I think about the devastation from the recent hurricane(s) and the earthquakes in Mexico, I’m ashamed of myself. And I have friends in my life who are dealing with health issues far more severe than my dumb cough. So for that, I’d like to wholeheartedly apologize for my ranting. However, I can’t one hundred percent help anyone else until I get my own health back at one hundred percent. So with that said, I am trying yet another regimen to see if that will get me on the final road to recovery. For anyone else out there that is dealing with these issues, let’s all hang in there. We shall overcome! (Sooner or later.)

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